Monday, December 15, 2008

"have you picked out any names for the baby?"

WHY WHY WHY WHY?
why do people want to know this?
every time i tell someone the names we have picked,
some total a- hole has to say something negative about at least one of the names.
for future reference don't EVER let someone know that the names they are thinking of remind you of the following.....
-a total slut from highschool that you used to know.
- a total slut from college you used to know.
- a total slut that you know.
-a girl you hated and teased you had that name.
- you never liked that name.
- an ex girlfriend of your boyfriend/husband.

DON'T let them know what rhymes w that name, or how alec could be turned into "ass lick" when they are older.
or how rufus could maybe be turned into "lupus".
please don't tell me how "trendy" or "popular" the name is and that EVERBODY has that name.
because out of billions of people on this planet they are not all named greta.
the truth is if you don't like the names in the running, it really doesn't matter cuz IT'S NOT YOUR CHILD TO NAME.
and do you have any idea how hard it is to name a human being???
especially more then one?
it's very difficult to think of names that don't remind you of other people, that don't rhyme with "snot" or "fart" or can be misconstrued as something offensive.
even when you think that you have picked a great name that has a ring to it and that this maybe THE name, some insensitive d-bag will have something negative to say about it,
and make you feel like the name is filthy and demeaning and you should head back to the drawing board.
i don't get why people can't respect such personal and hard decisions.
and not only that it's not like your going to hate my child because of his/her name?!
and i am not changing my name choices because someone doesn't like it.
giving negative criticisms on name choices, when not asked for feedback, can only do harm, it will NOT help.
it's frustrating at an already frustrating hormonal time, and only makes a pregnant mommy feel even more incompetent that not only can she not clean her house and carry and play with her 2 yr old in the snow, or work, NOW she can't even name a baby.

i think mallory or daphne are great names for a beautiful baby, toddler, teen, young adult, women, or a grandma someday.
and crap if she absolutely hates her name then she can change it.
nothing is set in stone, right?


man i hate being pregnant. but i do get some great blogging ideas.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

"natural" birth.

im always curious at peoples "idea" of natural birth.
what does that exactly mean?
do girls REALLY think that they have had a "natural" birth and the rest of us are having pretend or unnatural ones??
to you girls i say "OH BU-ROTHER"
in my professional having 3 children opinion, ALL birth is natural.
it is the common nut bag theory that no meds, no epidural, and a vaginal birth IS the "natural birth".
well i completely disagree.
anyone who tells me that their deliveries are done "natural" is horribly inconsiderate.
HEY, SO ARE MINE. THE BABY CAME OUT DIDN'T IT!?
i happen to have a friend who absolutely cannot deliver vaginally and has had 3 c- sections.
is that unnatural?
not for her, for her its the most natural thing in the world.
i have a sister who cannot go into labor by herself and has to be induced every time.
soooooo unnatural right?
i chose to be induced 3 weeks early w kaleb AND i am planning the same for this pregnancy.
i hate being pregnant and uncomfortable and would like to get back to being "me" as soon as possible, so long as me and the baby are ok.
also, i get all the meds i can, because let me tell you i DON'T LIKE BEING MISERABLE FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME, especially when you don't know how long a delivery may take.
kuddos for you girls who want to "tough it out" and 20 hrs of labor later you are still heaving and hoeing and are kind wishing you just had maybe some ib -profuen.
and no it has never sped up my babies heart rate, or affected them and made them "groggy".
they are newborn babies!!! not like they are supposed to come out tap dancing!!
and no i do NOT feel like it is amazing to feel every part of the delivery, um because i have been in agony for 9 mths. and i have no desire to continue that for any amount of time if the option of relief is given.
i can't imagine giving birth at home in my bed, where i "do it" w my husband, or in my family room where i invite friends, or even in the bathtub my kids bathe in..... um i really can't think of anything more UNNATURAL.
with billions of women in this world today and even more before us, who can really say whats unnatural?
if you sneezed a baby out your nose, that shouldn't be considered unnatural.
so pro "natural birth " girls need to realize that it is ALL natural, and have no right to try and make me feel weaker or inferior cuz i prefer to be doped up and HAPPY during my deliveries.
oh yea, and i DON'T breast feed!
nope, tried it hated it, pumped for like a week hated it, and my kids are smart as buttons and healthy as..........lions? elephants?
everyone has THEIR idea of a "natural" birth.
mine is perfect for me.
and my mom had 5 babies no epidural.....because they didn't have them back then.
i bet my mom would have taken that relief and probably most of your moms would have.
anyway you look at it delivering is AGONY.
just because you can't feel pain does not make pushing any easier, or make it any less scary.
delivering is terrifying, until you do it you will NEVER know or understand.
no matter what anyone tells you.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

7 THINGS ABOUT ME...

7 THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE....
1. meet britney spears
2. do hair for the stars
3. get my boobs lifted and my love handles tucked
4. attend my childrens weddings
5. design maternity or baby clothes
6. grow my hair out!
7. live in the bahamas or mexico on a beach and tan my wrinkly old skin all day

7 THINGS I CAN DO
1. hair, like nobodies business
2. make kaleb laugh/cry
3. i can throw a mean punch to the face
4. deal w drama and get it over w
5. paint
6. recite movie & sitcom lines
7.work out for hours and still feel huge

7 THINGS I CANNOT DO
1. fly a plane
2. run a country
3. listen to a song all the way thru
4. another pregnancy
5. put my kids in daycare
6. clean everyday
7. middle splits

7 THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO STEVE
1. they way he loves and will do ANYTHING for kaleb ( incidentally this is the thing that bugs me most about him also.)
2.he CAN tell people where to go when necessary
3. his blue eyes ( especially when he is sad, they are much prettier for some reason)
4. steve is incredibly smart and retains info like crazy, i love to listen to him tell me about the things he reads, from church history to novels to his school books.)
4.his ass (its pretty much the nicest ass ever, better then most girls even)
5. he is a crazy hard worker and is determined to be successful in all areas of his life. he would never let his family go hungry, he would get a job picking lint off of old ladies sweaters in a nursing home if he had too before we starved.
6. he is probably one of the most talented people i know, if not the most.
7. he looks so hot in a particular baseball hat, that also make his eyes insane blue.

7 THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN ( under my breath and out loud)
1. are you f*$@ing kidding me?(under breath)
2. kaleb you have to eat a meal b4 you can have a cookie
3. so & so is such a d- bag.
4. does this or do i look ok?
5. im sick of gaining weight and not being able to do anything about it
6. i can't, im pregnant.
7. you have no idea what it's like to be pregnant steve

7 celebrity admiration's
1. britney spears
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

7 FAVORITE FOODS
1. burritos from the grocery store deli (insane!)
2. salad ( a good salad)
3. avocado ( i cut em and eat em)
4. pumpkin pie
5. salmon
6. spaghetti
7. i don't drink soda, but when i do it's only barqs rootbeer. mmmmm so frothy and cold.

7 people i think should do this
1. kari
2. julie
3. tamara
4. jennifer
5. brooke
6. casey
7.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Kaleb and Steve by: Steve

Since the grueling summer season at the Jackson Hole Playhouse has reached its flaming end (no offense to those in theater who actually are "flaming"), my son and I have had a lot of time to get to know each other again. Prior to the end of summer, I was the mysterious man he would see occasionally sleeping in bed next to mommy. Otherwise, I was always on the go and spent time with him during intermission of our show. That sometimes was awkward because I am also a competitive UNO player, and it wasn't uncommon for cast members to engage in a game of UNO during intermission. Despite his young age, Kaleb is quite adept at playing UNO. However, his version is different from ours and he likes to wet himself during play. Kind of brilliant really that he uses his body fluids as a diversion so he can then rifle through the other players cards while they are distracted. Anywho, this past week we have had a lot of time together and I've made some startling discoveries. 1. Kaleb pretends to eat. It's weird. I'm the parent and I know the kid hasn't eaten anything in hours. However, when we stop playing long enough to eat,(which is NO EASY TASK) he looks around earnestly at what he can point to that will get my attention away. While I turn to see what it is he has just gasped and pointed at, he moves like lightning. Although high-chair bound, his hands are strangely agile, and ambidextrous. He empties his plate into his lap and replaces it in the exact spot it had previously been in. I turn back around, after realizing that what he pointed at in horror was actually a ruse, to find him smiling quietly and patting his hands together innocently. I see his plate is empty and like a gullible moron I exclaim, "good boy! You ate your food." He smiles even wider and raises his cute, chubby arms for me to lift him from his high chair and let him resume playing. I lift him from his chair and hold him close and when I let him down to play, I suddenly realize all the food that had been hidden in his lap is now plastered to my shirt. I look to where he now is standing and for a brief moment it seems that his little baby hand is giving me the finger. But, then he giggles sweetly and runs away. 2. Kaleb likes to say "potty." He is learning how to recognize bowel movements prior to them ending up in his pants. He has also learned that "false alarm" bowel movements are a great way to spend a few hours watching daddy act like an idiot. He looks at me with big eyes, and in a tiny "elfin" voice says "potty." The alarms start to go off. I race him to the bathroom, get his shoes and pants off. I hurriedly remove his diaper and check to make sure that wasn't a premature missile launch already exhausted in the diaper. All clear. I hoist him up on the toilet, making sure his puffy infant toilet seat has been placed on top of the toilet seat so he doesn't have to do the splits while pushing out a loaf. Once in place, I keep one hand on him and step back to see if it worked. He smiles at me, and then stares blankly. Then what he does would make even the most seriously trained actor blush in envy. He pretends to poop. I don't know how, and I don't know why..but he does. He grunts and groans, he sways vicariously. Tiny beads of sweat emerge in his forehead. I think to myself, for all that's holy he is going to be dropping the mother load. Then as quickly as it began, it ends. He smiles brightly and waits for me to "pretend wipe" him so he can be redressed, returned to his play area, and wait do the whole thing again in five minutes. You wouldn't think I would fall for it again, but I do. He's good. Real good. Sometimes he can even make his eyes roll like he is going to pass out because his poop is so big. 3. Kaleb kicks chickens. I know, PETA is probably already met with lawyers to file a law suit. Our landlord has chickens on the property. Kaleb likes to follow them around and wave to them. Sometimes he laughs at them and tries to get them to chase them. And other times, when the chickens least expect it. His little infant size 7's give them a nice "cock-a-doodle-doo." He baits them with harmless cuteness. They slowly come over for a closer inspection. "Who is this darling boy?" they must ask themselves. Only when they get too close, Kaleb gives them the old Chuck Norris. It's frightening and at the same time engrossing. Kaleb has a system to his play. At first you think the kick is random. Then as you spend the next hour studying his moves and tactics, you learn he is a genius. Like a black widow spider or a Maltese falcon, he toys with them and then he destroys them. So, now that I have had a few good days spending a lot of time with Kaleb, I've come to realize that every time Kat told me, "Kaleb was so difficult today" it wasn't because she is a new mother and is developing more patience for a harmless babe. It is because our son is actually a devious mastermind. There. I said it. Of course I love him, but no more "accidental kicks in my groin" while we wrestle. He knows what he is doing. No more "running away with dad's credit cards from the wallet he was playing with." He knows what those are and his little scribbles in his coloring book could just as easily be my bank account information he is saving for later. And to think. We have a second one due in January. What have we done.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

B4 and afters. pregnant w kaleb&post pregnacy.

this is like a mth, not even, before i delivered. nice how my husband can't even put his arms around me!! and steve has gorilla length arms. you can't even see ME in these pics. these are literally the only 2 pics i have of me pregnant. i can hardly look at these w out crying. IM NOT a cute pregnant girl w just a "bump in the front". i get pretty much killer whale all around. and dont anyone dare say its ok cuz im pregnant, or that i look cute, because, as we can all see, that is a lie.
these pics are a little over a year later. you can actually see ME in them.


look @ the difference in my face and NECK!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

PINK

as i start my "bonding w the new baby" shopping, i have come to realize some things....
I do not wear pink.
and EVERYTHING out there for baby girls is smothered in it.
im ok w like pink "in" the outfit, but why does there have to be so much freakin pink!
and not only that.... who on earth lets there child wear things w bunnies on it?
or kittens?
or ballerina's?
am i just ridiculously pickie?
i just want some normal clothes w some nice lines and patterns and some texture w out my children looking like total "jects".
i have done pretty dang well w kalebs wardrobe.
he does not own ANY item of clothing w cartoons or characatures on them.
it is a feat that i have mastered, but only by being very selective.
i dont have t shirts w winnie the pooh, or Cars, shrek, diego, or spiderman on them.
my children will not be disney, marvel or WB promoters w out recieving paychecks.
they should serioulsy pay kids to wear their clothes and advertise for them.
so far i've done awesome w kalebs shoes too.
i don't know how long i will be able to stay away from shoes that blink and lite up.
HATE THOSE.

i can't dl any pics at the moment, some d-bag sent me a virus through myspace. HEY HACKERS, GET A LIFE AND POSSIBLY A GIRLFIREND!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

ITSA GIRL!

we are expecting a new baby girl, coming this winter 2009.
she will be pretty and she will be silly, and she will HAVE HAIR!!!
i can't tell you how excited i am to have one person in this family that i can play hair dresser on.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

now blogging about dog owners

let me first start out by saying many of my friends have dogs now.
many of my friends growing up had dogs.
no one in my family owns a dog or ever has.
i HATE dogs.
thats right i hate dogs.
well, maybe it's more dog owners, since dogs are merely stupid animals that don't really know what they are doing.
why do dog owners think they are better then any rules set at the park or city laws?
that the "your dog must be on a leash" signs just never apply to them.
well guess what a- holes, it doesn't apply to us none dog owners!
yea, that sign is for YOU!
it's pure selfishness to think that you can take your dog to a "CHILDRENS PARK" and let your dog roam aimlessly.
i don't take my child to a "dog park" to play!
and yea you guys have your own parks for your yappy mutts!
first of all you don't know what kids are terrified of dogs, who has had a bad run in w a dog, who is allergic to dogs, who just doesn't want there "bathing suit area" sniffed by your dog.
AND NO, IF YOU BRING YOUR KID TO THE PARK IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOUR DOG GETS TO COME WITH!!!
dogs are ANIMALS people.
k9's.
do you know what else is a k9?
WOLVES.
yea dogs and wolves are related, im sure everyone knows that.( and if you don't, im sorry the school systems have failed you so miserably)
and guess what, i dont give a sewer rats ass if your dog will "just lick me to death, he is sooooo sweet." MAYBE I DONT WANT TO BE LICKED TO DEATH BY WOLFIES COUSIN.
you have no idea what your dog is thinking, cuz guess what, he isn't.
he will attack when and if he wants.
and if your dumb enough to bring your 4 legged, sharp fanged, buckets drooling beast to a park where children play, then i hope you fully understand my "dog like instinct" to kick your dog square in the CHEST when he nips at my toddler.
trust me i have done it.
its crazy to watch the news and see the "family dog" attacked the baby or the toddler and everyone is SHOCKED, cuz "snowflake" was so nice to everyone, he "just loved to play".
yea, and while he was busy "playing" he was eye balling the smallest of your children making sure he could get a clean take down to prove he is still the "alpha dog".
not really suprising at all actually, cuz your dog IS A WILD ANIMAL.
oh yea, AND, you know why dog food is made w rabbit, and other MEAT, cuz your dog is a carnivore!
so please, dont bring your dog to the park, no one LOVES your dog but you.

twilight series. g-a-y.

so i bought and read the first 3 books of this series, last summer.
and let me tell you, NOT IMPRESSED.
i read all of them within like a month.
im so sorry but stephanie myers is not a great writer.
she is very repeditive, a lil bit predictable, and sooooooo tedious.
like i always got to the point where i wanted to skip like 3 chapters cuz it was going soooooooooooooooooooo sloooooooooooooooooow.
and yea we know, we know, bella is a clutz blah blah blah.
edward has icy skin blah blah blah,
jacob has a ridiculously high body temperapture blah blah blah,
she gets sick when she rides on his back,we KNOW, WE KNOW!
edward and bella have a horribly unhealthy relationship.
you cannot give everything you are,everything you love, up for a "guy".(read "guy" w total disgust)
the only thing they have is love, that is it. (and maybe an animal like attraction, that's hot but that they CAN'T EVEN ACT ON!)
if the theory that edward will turn human is correct, well holy crap what a disapointment. (that's where the stephanie myers is too predictable comes in)
she needs to be w jacob and make fat lil werewolve cub babies.
oh, and the whole "imprinting" thing, seriously how freaking lame.
like, maybe the girls they are supposed to be w should be born w like a small "paw" shaped birthmark on there left shoulder blade or something.
really, imprinting? come on.
just the word is "suggestive" wink, wink.
and why do people FREAK out when you say that the books aren't that amazing, or that edward and bella are an unhealthy couple.
aren't most highschool relationships that way?
i guess when you have your trashy mom too base relationships on thats the way it goes.
edward, is like the dysfunctional drug addict boyfriend, who is "really trying" to clean his life up for his girl, but things just keep happening.
the drama will NEVER go away bella, NEVER!
becoming a vampire won't solve all her relationship problems, neither will/does getting married.
anyways, i guess what im really upset about is that now that i have bought and read the first 3, i have to buy and read the new one.
freaking crap.
and no, i will not be waiting in line at midnight dressed as a vampire, waiting for the new book.

and YES i will see the freaking movie!! (hopefully the screenwrite is better then the book.)

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

dieting, you BITCH!

kaleb is now 22 mths old.
i have lost 60 lbs since i have had him.
i thought i was working hard at this weight thing, cuz you know i have worked at it my whole freaking life.
well, i sweat my a- off, i've cried during workouts because of course im always stuck running next to the skinniest girl, who is barely strolling on her treadmill, i have sworn at the top of my lungs, called myself names to motivate...... myself,i went on an all canned tuna and chicken diet ( i shed like 15 lbs on that, i can barely look at canned anything anymore though) and finally bought a scale.
ahhhhh yes the scale, i pretty much weigh myself 5 times a day, and have to weigh a certain number when i wake up in the morning, ( yes i know thats a problem, i know i know.) and i just cant seem to drop another 20 lbs. thats all i want is another 20 lbs. i want to be pre- baby weight or within 6 lbs of it.
im not a yo-yo dieter i am pretty damn consistent w my daily intake.
i dont eat candy, any type of junkfood really, chips, soda, fast food, i've quite pizza recently, i never eat dessert, the list of crap that i don't eat goes on and on.
needless to say i struggle and i watch what i eat and i work out 6 days a week sometimes twice a day and blah blah blah.
STEVE comes home the other nite, steps on the scale, or the " self esteem maker", turns to me and says, " wow, i've lost 20 lbs since i've been in jackson".
WTF?!?!?!?!
let me just break down for you a list of things that he eats on a regular if not daily effing basis.

-at least 3 cokes a day, and not american coke its that coke from mexico w pure sugar cane in it.
-at least 4 pb&j sandwiches a NITE. 4!!!!!! i eat 1 maybe every 6 mths cuz peanut butter comes straight from satans teet! i never eat peanut butter!
-holy cow he LOVES cheetos, and not the baked or the natural ones, im talking cheeto cheetos, heartattack inducing cheetos.
-the other nite i made fish sticks and these organic potato wedges. steve ate probably 16 fish sticks some wedges, macaroni salad, CHEETOS, a piece of cheesecake, and 3 sodas, and 3 hours later he had a freakin t bone steak!! i had a pickle 3 hours later cuz i was still full!
-actually im going to call him rite now and see what he ate as of today........................................................a turkey sandwich, water, 1 soda, chips, king size kittkat, and he says thats all, but i bet he is forgetting like a sloppy joe w extra slop and fries, with a side of a whole honey baked ham.
this is NOT an exageration.

i don't understand. now that im pregnant im even more discouraged and depressed about his 20 lbs weightloss (in less than 2 mths.) i actually cried myself hysterically asleep that nite. he just stared and kept saying "your beautiful whats wrong your so pretty and perfect". no steve "perfect" would be me as a size 8. just an 8 im not shooting for the moon here just the stars. he has never even seen me at my thinnest! how horrible is that? i hate being a chic sometimes. my ass is spreading just sitting here writing this. i hate boys.

hiking w dad

at miller park



this is kalebs favorite toy at the park. he seriously spends hours getting on and off it. sometimes he will walk away for a minute to stretch his cramped legs ( i hear hours on a chopper can do that to you) only to come back and someone els has jumped on. we have no idea who this little girl is but she was on the motorcycle after he took a brief lap. he did NOT like sitting on it w another person, and also did not like that the other person was "driving". do not let that smile fool you he was pretty ticked that i made him sit w her.

this lil mishap occured 2 days before we were moving out of our az apt. kaleb was quite for a long time, i turned the corner to find this masterpiece.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

never take your eyes off little people called "toddlers"

i forgot about this!
we are at barnes & nobles bout a month ago and i take kaleb over to the kid section.
he loves that train table they have set up (who doesn't am i right?)
i am just flipping through a book waiting for steve and i look up and kaleb is standing in the middle of the tiny train town!!
im like whisper yelling, "kaleb, kaleb!"
he completely ignores me and starts stomping around like freaking kong!
of course i had to take a picture before i disciplined him.
how do you discipline something so funny!?
kaleb did not get his websters 3rd edition dictionary that he really wanted that nite.
naughty boys don't get presents.

crazy talk

i was driving to steve's work the other day and a coyote walked infront of me on the pass, and then while in town i saw a homeless man doing push- ups in the park.

when we lived here last time we were driving in town at like 11 pm and all of the sudden this huge animal runs out infront of us...... we're like, holy crap look at that horse in the road!!
no, no, it was totally a moose trotting through town.
so, we chased it in the jeep through an alley into an apartment complex,
so crazy!
but for real this moose looked like it was on its last leg.
it was all skinny and pale.
his jacket was all torn and shedding, he was missing an antler.
he had on a knee brace and an eye patch.
seriously, all the wildlife we have seen here has been the like, reject, falling apart animals whose herds can't or won't support them anymore.
i am hoping for an amazing wild beast to jump on my car or carry kaleb away and raise him as a wild fox.
and then he can come back when he is a teenager and teach me to hunt and pounce.
and i can teach him to read and become a gentleman.
wtf am i talking about.

Monday, June 2, 2008

when steve and i were dating i used to visit him like every week while he was working in jackson. this is the "uniform" for the girls, they always tried to get me to wear cowboy boots and hats and all the western wear, so i compromised and said i'd put on the ol' prostitute wear.


Sunday, June 1, 2008

so this is whats new...

we live in jackson wy again.
steve is kid shiline in "cat balleou".
kaleb just had a mad ear infection and has these really crazy welt dry spots on his back.
kat is bored as hell right now until it stops raining and can start trying to run again.
kaleb loves steves work at the play house, he claps and thrusts his hips and shakes his little baby ass to ALL music good or bad.
but now that we have watched so many rehearsals kaleb claps at the end of songs in the car and in church today he started clapping at the end of some ladies testimony.
steve and i were dyiny laughing.
soooooo thats it for now.

Friday, April 25, 2008

kaleb next to possibly the smallest stream on the planet.

this is so sweet!

hiking w dad

hiking this sunday

i wasn't lying

remember my blog about my 5k and how i will always wear the free t-shirt???
well in all these next pictures that were taken on different days in the last like 4 to 5 weeks, i am wearing that t-shirt in all of them.
i just noticed that, i really do always wear it.

giraffes are pretty much the craziest looking animal......except those monkeys who can't find underpants to cover their raw asses.

stephan and kaleb infront of the bears.

the cousins just adored kaleb and he coudn't get enough of them either. we love them bubbies.

this is kaleb's first plane ride to utah, he kept STARING at the girl in back of him. she was asleep w headphones on.

kaleb and i are thinking of trying out for america's next top model next season.

kaleb has the most AMAZING smile and cheeks.

THE PREGNANT "MAN"

ok i have watched this giant douche bag on tons of talks shows and i can remain silent no longer.
first of all "he" isn't even a MAN!!!
"he" was born a woman, and "he" still has all his lady business AND an additional man part.
"he" has REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS OF A WOMAN BECAUSE "HE" IS A WOMAN!!!!!
what the hell is the phenomonon exactly?
a gender confused WOMAN who can't decide if life is more worth living as a man or as womAn is pregnant.
why is anyone giving this chic the time of day?
dude, when my husband (or brooke shields) gets pregnant THEN i will be impressed.
until then, all women pretending to be male who are pregnant, should stay off oprah and access hollywood because your just ruining tv land for a stay at home mom.
AND i don't even watch oprah!
i feel so sorry for that poor baby, what if the baby comes out with melons and banana?
and who wants to tell people that there "bom" (boy mom) gave birth to them???
it never ceases to amaze me how selfish people truly are.
these days the crazier you are the more normal it is.
sorry crazy people YOUR JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!
so stay at home in your dark musty room and be crazy by yourself cuz we have all the crazy we need out here.
oh and "man" who is pregnant..... YOUR A CHIC, DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE BOOBS!
cuz boobs are pretty much awesome.

kat

Friday, April 11, 2008

about kat

10 YEARS AGO ....

i was 16 and probably hating everything about life.
yea i can admit that.
i started beauty school and was in highschool at the same time.
education... heh weird.

5 THINGS ON MY " TO-DO" list....

-lose 20 lbs
-pack for utah
-go running today
-clean up kalebs mess in pretty much every room
-wash my car, its fithy, i cannot stand dirty cars.

5 PLACES I'VE LIVED.......

-wisconsin
-utah
-jackson hole wyoming, i miss it so much. i wish i wasn't so pregnant and miserable and post partum depressed and a newly wed struggling to make a life w a new husband when i lived there.
-arizona, it's pretty much beautiful rite now. buuuuuuuut i have a feeling im going to get the "honerys" very soon. that means the "hot ornerys".
- and maybe jackson hole again, or laguna hills california so steve can start grad school.

5 JOBS I HAD.......

-tgifridays- i hated it. all the waiters and watresses were so trashy and slutty.
-banister shoes-loved that job for awhile.
-regis salons- hated working for them.
-tj maxx- i worked there literally for like 4 weeks. i had to put the tags on the hangers and i am totally allergic to metal and my hands always broke out in hives. plus i didn't make a dime, i unloaded the trucks and set everything i wanted aside in a pile of my own.
-shear dimensions- best salon job i ever had. i made bank at that place til i gots pregnant w kaleb and quit.

5 THINGS PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME......

-i HATE getting my haircut. i am terrified to get it cut.
-i LOVE water. all sorts of water, lakes, streams, pools, rivers, canals, etc.
-i LOVE to decorate. i redecorate every couple of mths. i have so much stuff i just rotate it.
-i LOVE disco and tu pac. i have since i was a teenager. i haven't listened to tu pac since i have had baby. i don't really think i want a gang banging thug influencing my sons young sponge- like mind.
-i HATE waking up in the morning. 10 am is early to me. and kaleb could totally sleep til then if i let him. but i have to get my a#* out of bed.

Friday, March 28, 2008

why are these women famous actresses?

ok so renee zellwagger is so weird looking.
she is the most painful looking chic!!!
i was watching her on ACCESS tonite and i couldn't believe how "interesting" looking she is.
and the longer i watched the angrier i got.
seriously she is all puckered up, squinty and WHITE!!
holy cow she is so freaking pasty!
more like pastRY.
she should wear sunglasses at all times.
i wonder if people are always her, "renee are you ok? are you in pain?"
she always looks like she just slammed her toe into a coffee table, or like she just licked the bottom of a 9 volt battery.
seriously, i don't get it, she is not a pleasant person to watch on screen.
simply weird thats all i can say.
oh yea, AND, does brooke shields look like a transvestite to anyone else but me ??
she really does have this dude quality about her.
square jaw, square shoulders, una-brow just itching to break free.
ok im not perfect, i have love handles.
sometimes i paint.
it takes me sooooo looooong to finish the simplest painting.
i start w out ANY idea of what i want to do.
i paint the canvas one color & then i give up for like 2 mths. & then all of a sudden it comes to me and i pull it out and finish it. this is my tree. steve wants it in his office.
i think this is possibly my favorite painting.
i actually have no idea what i am doing, i just do it cuz its purdy. i started this way before my blogspot but now i realize it totally matches.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

steve's passion, such a sexy dude. AWESOME picture by kate lines.
i love this pic!!
kate did a most stellar job at taking pics of two distracted boys all afternoon.
kaleb and steve and my knee.

not so good at the blogging scene.

honestly i guess my little heart just isn't into blogging.
i cant even figure out how to put new pics up.
or music.
and thats probably a good thing, because if i did, i would probably be on the internet for hours while kaleb ran around in a soiled diaper w an empty ethiopian belly.
yea pretty much this blogspot is l-a-m-e.
im totally aware.
and half the time my stolen internet from an unknown neighbor doesn't work, so when i do have something to write about, i can't.
and everyone knows there is NOTHING more hair pulling fist in the mouth frustrating then an interweb that doesn't work.
daily i want to throw this lap top thru a wall, window, into a bathtub full of water.
u suck broken interweb

Sunday, March 2, 2008

5k day, yea it was a success.

my goal to run 3.2 miles was 1 hr.
yea i know people can do 3 miles in like 10 minutes.
but i can't.
i SPANKED my 1 hr goal by 20 minutes.
it felt amazing.
and even though i think i passed 2 people and was passed by like 68 people, it felt sweet to start and finish and blow my goal out of the water.
kate was excited about the people handing out the water cups as you ran by..... and let me tell you it IS exciting to run by and grab a cup and toss it aside.
that just may be the best part.
i wanted to throw it over my whole head but i had headphones on.
i support 5k's.
and i will wear this free t shirt everyday of my life.
well, to the gym and when i run, and the next 5k we do.
and maybe to bed.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

sorry about the faceless blog

so kate and i started to set this up last saturday.
its now wednesday.
kate's computer isn't so much broken as i believe it is .....well, lazy.
turning off in the middle of projects, calling in sick, coming in late, i've smelled alcohol on it's breathe on more then one occasion.
sleeping in meetings, and it always seems to be pmsing.
so kate's computer better pull it's act together so that all may enjoy our new blogspot.
also i am typing this with one hand because i have a little boy sitting on my lap.
it's taken way longer to write then you think.

kat

Friday, February 22, 2008

Creating a blog cuz "everybodies doing it."

i dont know what exactly to "blog" about but i have set one up.
usually i blog about britney spears or fat kids, sometimes black people w english accents, so this might be hard "blogging" about my family.
we are definately not as dramatic OR mentally ill as some people.
ill try to make it spicy for those who want to know about us.
oh and i never use capital letters.
we're all equal here.

kat