Saturday, September 11, 2010

Too big, or not too big......

so it has come to my attention that certain types of eating disorders are treated VERY differently.
while watching the "biggest loser", " celebrity fit club", "diet tribe", or ANY weight loss show to be honest, i 've noticed the pattern of "horribly honest psychology" (yea, that's the technical term, look it up) used on these "victims," "patients", 'clients", fat- asses.
trainers are always pointing out" why they are fat, how they got fat, what are they going to do about being fat, are you going to let your kids follow in your fat footsteps? .... and my personal favorite is screaming at them and letting them know that bread will in fact kill them, and soda is the equivelant to heroin!
on and on and on.
they make them go home and try to live in their old environment and see if they can continue losing weight, paying them visits, and "surprising" them in the gym.
the super obese on these shows are forced to take off their shirts and bare ALL, and i do mean ALL of there insecurities.
roll by sweaty roll, fat baby arm by fat baby arm, they remove there shirts to reveal literally hundreds of pounds of ..... well, shame.
they are 'broken down" , and , well i guess that make you skinny.

i have noticed shows dealing with anerexia and bulimia are VERY different, very different indeed.
nice little office setting, a therapist, perhaps a group therapy session.
lots of talking, and crying and tissues being handed out.
(on weightloss shows they are all slobbery and blubbering all over there sleeves and sausage arms.)
asking lots of questions in controlled tones letting the skinny freaks think that they are somewhat in control of this particular situation.
heaven forbid we yell at these fragile skeleton children.

i want to see all shows related to eating disorders operate in the same dynamic.
most of these people have been through the exact same traumitizing situations!
and just because one can't buckle a seat belt over his gut and the other has to wear leg warmers all year round, does not mean that one is more fragile then the other!!
obesity AND anorexia both lead to heart attacks
i want bulimics and anorexics dragged into resturaunts and forced to eat by trainers and i want to see them be forced to weigh in with there translucent arms hanging on by a single tendent, why do they get to where so many clothes???!
i want them to have to brush there teeth with cheese whiz and when a "challenge" for game play comes up, i want to see a room full of fast food and a toilet in the corner.
can you resist it like they do on the "biggest loser?" CAN YOU?
they should have to gain as much weight as possible in 4 mths.
on some of these shows they don't gain ANY weight back, that's crazy!
no more therapy session shows.
they should be on a reality game show JUST like everybody else.
why are they so special?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Mallory Nola Snow Badgett

this is our little baby girl. i can't explain why she is so pretty, sometimes that just happens.
she is ornery and sassy and she smiles and actually giggles all the time. especially in her sleep.
we love her and kaleb is somewhat annoyed and yet intrigued by her presence.
he loves to poke her eye.
she hates it.

Monday, December 15, 2008

"have you picked out any names for the baby?"

why do people want to know this?
every time i tell someone the names we have picked,
some total a- hole has to say something negative about at least one of the names.
for future reference don't EVER let someone know that the names they are thinking of remind you of the following.....
-a total slut from highschool that you used to know.
- a total slut from college you used to know.
- a total slut that you know.
-a girl you hated and teased you had that name.
- you never liked that name.
- an ex girlfriend of your boyfriend/husband.

DON'T let them know what rhymes w that name, or how alec could be turned into "ass lick" when they are older.
or how rufus could maybe be turned into "lupus".
please don't tell me how "trendy" or "popular" the name is and that EVERBODY has that name.
because out of billions of people on this planet they are not all named greta.
the truth is if you don't like the names in the running, it really doesn't matter cuz IT'S NOT YOUR CHILD TO NAME.
and do you have any idea how hard it is to name a human being???
especially more then one?
it's very difficult to think of names that don't remind you of other people, that don't rhyme with "snot" or "fart" or can be misconstrued as something offensive.
even when you think that you have picked a great name that has a ring to it and that this maybe THE name, some insensitive d-bag will have something negative to say about it,
and make you feel like the name is filthy and demeaning and you should head back to the drawing board.
i don't get why people can't respect such personal and hard decisions.
and not only that it's not like your going to hate my child because of his/her name?!
and i am not changing my name choices because someone doesn't like it.
giving negative criticisms on name choices, when not asked for feedback, can only do harm, it will NOT help.
it's frustrating at an already frustrating hormonal time, and only makes a pregnant mommy feel even more incompetent that not only can she not clean her house and carry and play with her 2 yr old in the snow, or work, NOW she can't even name a baby.

i think mallory or daphne are great names for a beautiful baby, toddler, teen, young adult, women, or a grandma someday.
and crap if she absolutely hates her name then she can change it.
nothing is set in stone, right?

man i hate being pregnant. but i do get some great blogging ideas.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

"natural" birth.

im always curious at peoples "idea" of natural birth.
what does that exactly mean?
do girls REALLY think that they have had a "natural" birth and the rest of us are having pretend or unnatural ones??
to you girls i say "OH BU-ROTHER"
in my professional having 3 children opinion, ALL birth is natural.
it is the common nut bag theory that no meds, no epidural, and a vaginal birth IS the "natural birth".
well i completely disagree.
anyone who tells me that their deliveries are done "natural" is horribly inconsiderate.
i happen to have a friend who absolutely cannot deliver vaginally and has had 3 c- sections.
is that unnatural?
not for her, for her its the most natural thing in the world.
i have a sister who cannot go into labor by herself and has to be induced every time.
soooooo unnatural right?
i chose to be induced 3 weeks early w kaleb AND i am planning the same for this pregnancy.
i hate being pregnant and uncomfortable and would like to get back to being "me" as soon as possible, so long as me and the baby are ok.
also, i get all the meds i can, because let me tell you i DON'T LIKE BEING MISERABLE FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME, especially when you don't know how long a delivery may take.
kuddos for you girls who want to "tough it out" and 20 hrs of labor later you are still heaving and hoeing and are kind wishing you just had maybe some ib -profuen.
and no it has never sped up my babies heart rate, or affected them and made them "groggy".
they are newborn babies!!! not like they are supposed to come out tap dancing!!
and no i do NOT feel like it is amazing to feel every part of the delivery, um because i have been in agony for 9 mths. and i have no desire to continue that for any amount of time if the option of relief is given.
i can't imagine giving birth at home in my bed, where i "do it" w my husband, or in my family room where i invite friends, or even in the bathtub my kids bathe in..... um i really can't think of anything more UNNATURAL.
with billions of women in this world today and even more before us, who can really say whats unnatural?
if you sneezed a baby out your nose, that shouldn't be considered unnatural.
so pro "natural birth " girls need to realize that it is ALL natural, and have no right to try and make me feel weaker or inferior cuz i prefer to be doped up and HAPPY during my deliveries.
oh yea, and i DON'T breast feed!
nope, tried it hated it, pumped for like a week hated it, and my kids are smart as buttons and healthy as..........lions? elephants?
everyone has THEIR idea of a "natural" birth.
mine is perfect for me.
and my mom had 5 babies no epidural.....because they didn't have them back then.
i bet my mom would have taken that relief and probably most of your moms would have.
anyway you look at it delivering is AGONY.
just because you can't feel pain does not make pushing any easier, or make it any less scary.
delivering is terrifying, until you do it you will NEVER know or understand.
no matter what anyone tells you.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


1. meet britney spears
2. do hair for the stars
3. get my boobs lifted and my love handles tucked
4. attend my childrens weddings
5. design maternity or baby clothes
6. grow my hair out!
7. live in the bahamas or mexico on a beach and tan my wrinkly old skin all day

1. hair, like nobodies business
2. make kaleb laugh/cry
3. i can throw a mean punch to the face
4. deal w drama and get it over w
5. paint
6. recite movie & sitcom lines out for hours and still feel huge

1. fly a plane
2. run a country
3. listen to a song all the way thru
4. another pregnancy
5. put my kids in daycare
6. clean everyday
7. middle splits

1. they way he loves and will do ANYTHING for kaleb ( incidentally this is the thing that bugs me most about him also.)
2.he CAN tell people where to go when necessary
3. his blue eyes ( especially when he is sad, they are much prettier for some reason)
4. steve is incredibly smart and retains info like crazy, i love to listen to him tell me about the things he reads, from church history to novels to his school books.)
4.his ass (its pretty much the nicest ass ever, better then most girls even)
5. he is a crazy hard worker and is determined to be successful in all areas of his life. he would never let his family go hungry, he would get a job picking lint off of old ladies sweaters in a nursing home if he had too before we starved.
6. he is probably one of the most talented people i know, if not the most.
7. he looks so hot in a particular baseball hat, that also make his eyes insane blue.

7 THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN ( under my breath and out loud)
1. are you f*$@ing kidding me?(under breath)
2. kaleb you have to eat a meal b4 you can have a cookie
3. so & so is such a d- bag.
4. does this or do i look ok?
5. im sick of gaining weight and not being able to do anything about it
6. i can't, im pregnant.
7. you have no idea what it's like to be pregnant steve

7 celebrity admiration's
1. britney spears

1. burritos from the grocery store deli (insane!)
2. salad ( a good salad)
3. avocado ( i cut em and eat em)
4. pumpkin pie
5. salmon
6. spaghetti
7. i don't drink soda, but when i do it's only barqs rootbeer. mmmmm so frothy and cold.

7 people i think should do this
1. kari
2. julie
3. tamara
4. jennifer
5. brooke
6. casey

Friday, October 3, 2008

Kaleb and Steve by: Steve

Since the grueling summer season at the Jackson Hole Playhouse has reached its flaming end (no offense to those in theater who actually are "flaming"), my son and I have had a lot of time to get to know each other again. Prior to the end of summer, I was the mysterious man he would see occasionally sleeping in bed next to mommy. Otherwise, I was always on the go and spent time with him during intermission of our show. That sometimes was awkward because I am also a competitive UNO player, and it wasn't uncommon for cast members to engage in a game of UNO during intermission. Despite his young age, Kaleb is quite adept at playing UNO. However, his version is different from ours and he likes to wet himself during play. Kind of brilliant really that he uses his body fluids as a diversion so he can then rifle through the other players cards while they are distracted. Anywho, this past week we have had a lot of time together and I've made some startling discoveries. 1. Kaleb pretends to eat. It's weird. I'm the parent and I know the kid hasn't eaten anything in hours. However, when we stop playing long enough to eat,(which is NO EASY TASK) he looks around earnestly at what he can point to that will get my attention away. While I turn to see what it is he has just gasped and pointed at, he moves like lightning. Although high-chair bound, his hands are strangely agile, and ambidextrous. He empties his plate into his lap and replaces it in the exact spot it had previously been in. I turn back around, after realizing that what he pointed at in horror was actually a ruse, to find him smiling quietly and patting his hands together innocently. I see his plate is empty and like a gullible moron I exclaim, "good boy! You ate your food." He smiles even wider and raises his cute, chubby arms for me to lift him from his high chair and let him resume playing. I lift him from his chair and hold him close and when I let him down to play, I suddenly realize all the food that had been hidden in his lap is now plastered to my shirt. I look to where he now is standing and for a brief moment it seems that his little baby hand is giving me the finger. But, then he giggles sweetly and runs away. 2. Kaleb likes to say "potty." He is learning how to recognize bowel movements prior to them ending up in his pants. He has also learned that "false alarm" bowel movements are a great way to spend a few hours watching daddy act like an idiot. He looks at me with big eyes, and in a tiny "elfin" voice says "potty." The alarms start to go off. I race him to the bathroom, get his shoes and pants off. I hurriedly remove his diaper and check to make sure that wasn't a premature missile launch already exhausted in the diaper. All clear. I hoist him up on the toilet, making sure his puffy infant toilet seat has been placed on top of the toilet seat so he doesn't have to do the splits while pushing out a loaf. Once in place, I keep one hand on him and step back to see if it worked. He smiles at me, and then stares blankly. Then what he does would make even the most seriously trained actor blush in envy. He pretends to poop. I don't know how, and I don't know why..but he does. He grunts and groans, he sways vicariously. Tiny beads of sweat emerge in his forehead. I think to myself, for all that's holy he is going to be dropping the mother load. Then as quickly as it began, it ends. He smiles brightly and waits for me to "pretend wipe" him so he can be redressed, returned to his play area, and wait do the whole thing again in five minutes. You wouldn't think I would fall for it again, but I do. He's good. Real good. Sometimes he can even make his eyes roll like he is going to pass out because his poop is so big. 3. Kaleb kicks chickens. I know, PETA is probably already met with lawyers to file a law suit. Our landlord has chickens on the property. Kaleb likes to follow them around and wave to them. Sometimes he laughs at them and tries to get them to chase them. And other times, when the chickens least expect it. His little infant size 7's give them a nice "cock-a-doodle-doo." He baits them with harmless cuteness. They slowly come over for a closer inspection. "Who is this darling boy?" they must ask themselves. Only when they get too close, Kaleb gives them the old Chuck Norris. It's frightening and at the same time engrossing. Kaleb has a system to his play. At first you think the kick is random. Then as you spend the next hour studying his moves and tactics, you learn he is a genius. Like a black widow spider or a Maltese falcon, he toys with them and then he destroys them. So, now that I have had a few good days spending a lot of time with Kaleb, I've come to realize that every time Kat told me, "Kaleb was so difficult today" it wasn't because she is a new mother and is developing more patience for a harmless babe. It is because our son is actually a devious mastermind. There. I said it. Of course I love him, but no more "accidental kicks in my groin" while we wrestle. He knows what he is doing. No more "running away with dad's credit cards from the wallet he was playing with." He knows what those are and his little scribbles in his coloring book could just as easily be my bank account information he is saving for later. And to think. We have a second one due in January. What have we done.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

B4 and afters. pregnant w kaleb&post pregnacy.

this is like a mth, not even, before i delivered. nice how my husband can't even put his arms around me!! and steve has gorilla length arms. you can't even see ME in these pics. these are literally the only 2 pics i have of me pregnant. i can hardly look at these w out crying. IM NOT a cute pregnant girl w just a "bump in the front". i get pretty much killer whale all around. and dont anyone dare say its ok cuz im pregnant, or that i look cute, because, as we can all see, that is a lie.
these pics are a little over a year later. you can actually see ME in them.

look @ the difference in my face and NECK!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


as i start my "bonding w the new baby" shopping, i have come to realize some things....
I do not wear pink.
and EVERYTHING out there for baby girls is smothered in it.
im ok w like pink "in" the outfit, but why does there have to be so much freakin pink!
and not only that.... who on earth lets there child wear things w bunnies on it?
or kittens?
or ballerina's?
am i just ridiculously pickie?
i just want some normal clothes w some nice lines and patterns and some texture w out my children looking like total "jects".
i have done pretty dang well w kalebs wardrobe.
he does not own ANY item of clothing w cartoons or characatures on them.
it is a feat that i have mastered, but only by being very selective.
i dont have t shirts w winnie the pooh, or Cars, shrek, diego, or spiderman on them.
my children will not be disney, marvel or WB promoters w out recieving paychecks.
they should serioulsy pay kids to wear their clothes and advertise for them.
so far i've done awesome w kalebs shoes too.
i don't know how long i will be able to stay away from shoes that blink and lite up.

i can't dl any pics at the moment, some d-bag sent me a virus through myspace. HEY HACKERS, GET A LIFE AND POSSIBLY A GIRLFIREND!

Sunday, September 7, 2008


we are expecting a new baby girl, coming this winter 2009.
she will be pretty and she will be silly, and she will HAVE HAIR!!!
i can't tell you how excited i am to have one person in this family that i can play hair dresser on.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

kalebs million faces.

jackson county fair. ( no my husband does not dress like that in real life, nor does he have a beard traditionally, its for his show.)

this is like the 3rd pony ride. such a pro w the wild beasts.

who is that scary man w my son?